Finding Joy
Throughout our lives, we walk through different seasons. In some seasons, things seem easier, and we're coasting without much effort. Other times we may feel like we're trudging along through the muck, and no matter what happens, we can't seem to catch a break. Have you noticed that in those seasons of ease, joy can be found around every corner? Happiness bubbles at the surface, and even when something difficult does come up, we're able to quickly figure it out and get back on track because we're staying positive. On the flip side, those difficult seasons become total kill-joys, and we find ways to turn even positive things into negative ones simply because our outlook on life isn't where it should be. One thing I've found true in my own life is that when I get off track, I need regular reminders of God's Grace amid the battle to stay focused. If it's okay, I'd like to share a little bit of a struggle I've had with this recently.
Losing Focus
Those of you who know me and my family (my wife Amanda, and our children Cohen and Emma) know that this past year has been one of those harder seasons. On September 1, 2017, Amanda and I welcomed our beautiful daughter Emma into the world. Fast forward a bit, roughly one year plus, and Amanda and I began noticing that Emma was experiencing delays in development. She wasn't talking, making much eye contact, and generally wanted to be away from everyone. She also wasn't playing with toys like they were intended. Everything she did when it came to playing was about making lines and organizing. Regardless of what we tried to do, we couldn't get her to do things the same way as "normal" kids.
As we continued to pray for clarity and growth for her over the next year, nothing changed. Far too often, we took our focus off the blessings that we had with our daughter, kids, and family, and began to let fear and doubt creep in. Then, on February 28 of this year, we received the news that we were dreading, but were also expecting at the same time. Emma was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. We weren't surprised, but still, so many thoughts, worries, doubts, and fears came crashing over us. It was in this season of life that Amanda and I lost a little bit of our joy. I tried my best to put on a good face all the time, but if I'm honest, deep down inside, I was struggling.
Constant Reminders
How did I lose my joy so quickly? Why did I let it slip away? How do I get focused back on it? These were questions I've had to ask myself over the years regularly, and fortunately, the answer was right on my hand. On the inside of my wedding ring Amanda had Philippians 4:6-7 inscribed on it. This was my reminder. Amid ALL circumstances, good or bad, to be thankful as I go before God in prayer. To give Him my prayers and concerns, and if I do this, His peace that surpasses all understanding will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. That's the part we probably know and have read a lot. But how many times have you read the verses before and after that? If you haven't, stop, grab your Bible, or go online and read Philippians 4:4-9. When you've finished, I want you to come back and continue reading.
Let's think about this. Paul points us to the importance of rejoicing twice in the first verse, so clearly finding reasons to rejoice is essential. Just like in verse 6 where Paul talks about giving thanks in all circumstances, rejoicing in all circumstances can be difficult. Paul understands the importance of this when he says it, because as he penned this letter to the church in Philippi, he wrote from a jail cell. He could have easily complained or grumbled about being stuck in jail, or he could focus on the joy in life and continuing to encourage the churches and people he had poured into. Obviously, he chose the latter.
Jumping ahead again to the second part of this section, Paul tells us how we can rejoice and be thankful in the middle of difficulties. He explains the best way is to think about things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, and worthy of praise. Interestingly, these are all characteristics of Christ and his love for us. Not only that, but they are characteristics of Christ that we should strive to live out and share with others daily. He even says as much in verse 9.
Staying on Track
Rejoicing in the painful situations in life may not be easy, but it's necessary for us to hold onto our joy. Returning to the situation with Emma, the best way I've been able to do this is by looking at life with the joy that she finds in it instead of the joy I want her to have in it. Emma truly is the PERFECT little girl that God has created her to be. She is happy, she laughs, she loves in her own way, she dances when she hears music, and she is learning and growing so much every day! You see, finding our joy isn't about getting what we want; it's about being thankful for what God has given us. We're blessed so many times every day; it's up to us though to see it, rejoice, be thankful, and lay our concerns at His feet. While I'm not sure what your circumstances are or how difficult things may be right now, I do know that we all have opportunities to find joy on a daily basis, hold onto it, and share it with others. I hope and pray that regardless of what's going on, you're able to find His joy in your life each day.
Little Extra
If you're struggling to find joy, here's a little something you can do. Take a blank piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left side, write the words, "Blessings/Thankful" and on the right side the words, "Prayers/Concerns". Underneath that fill in all the things you're thankful for and that you're blessed with and on the other side all the things you're worried about and praying for. You can write anything you want in the blessings/thankful section, and when you've finished, spend some time in prayer and thank God for all of those things. Keep that paper out, and when you're having a tough day, re-read all the ways God's blessed you and pray for the things you're struggling with. The more you do this, the easier it is to find our joy and trust in Him as we walk through our concerns.
If you're struggling in this way and find yourself overly depressed, you can call the Bay Life Counseling Center at 813.319.0183 and schedule an appointment with one of our licensed counselors who can help you walk through your personal circumstances.
