In The Waiting
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer
Romans 12:12 NIV
Let me set the stage for where I am right now physically – I am sitting in a car in a parking lot doing what I do so well…waiting. I am waiting for my son, who has special needs, to finish his volunteer shift at the Dali Museum in St. Petersburg, FL.
Over the years, I’ve learned that waiting is inevitable. I just want to get from Point A to Point B, yet along the way I will have to wait for someone or something. Have you experienced this? I’m sure we all have at some point in our lives.
Our reactions and emotions in the waiting are dependent on what I would call the 5 W’s: When you’re waiting, why you’re waiting, what you are waiting for, where you’re at, and most importantly, who is with you in the waiting.
Waiting can be exciting, energizing, and electrifying! Putting a pep in your step and the biggest smile on your face! On the other hand, waiting can cause one to be fearful, disheartened, and a deep sense of being alone.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer
Romans 12:12 NIV
My husband and I joke a lot with each other that we do a lot of waiting, mostly when we are with our children and grandchildren. And having a special needs child in the mix is like waiting on steroids! We seem to always be waiting for someone to get ready, be ready, get set… GO!
We laugh when I remind him that God waited for me for 40 years - I received a Bible from two coworkers for my 40th birthday: but that’s a story for another day. But 40 years, eleven of those with a special needs child, is a long time for God to patiently wait for me to realize He’s been with me the whole time and I need HIM more than anything else.
We are all on a journey. Not only on one big journey headed toward Paradise, but many journeys along the way of all different shapes and sizes. Some of you are waiting for a new journey to start. Others can’t wait for the journey you are on to finally end!
Some of you may be at the beginning of your journey with a special needs child. You are still in tears after receiving the diagnosis, overwhelmed and feeling so very alone. You are wondering what to do and how to “fix” it and if anyone truly understands.
Or maybe this has been your reality for five or ten years; waiting for your child to speak more clearly, to use the bathroom without help, to safely cross the street, or to make a friend who is not you. And you feel isolated as other parents talk about the normal progressive achievements of their child like saying “Dada” or “Mama,” being potty trained, going to school and playing sports; milestones you are praying to see.
Then there are some of you walking through the teenage years or beyond, still waiting—for all the teaching, training, and therapies to finally "click," like a light switch flipping on. You just want a break. You long to see your son or daughter go to the store and pick out food or clothes, maybe even with friends. You dream of enjoying a quiet date with your spouse, an outing with your own friends, or simply not feeling so utterly alone on this journey.
In the waiting, a caregiver of someone with special needs, whether a guardian or parent, is rarely sitting down relaxing. You are rarely thinking of yourself. And yet you are right where God wants you to be.
My special needs adult child is 32 years old. And I’m still on the “caring for one-with-special-needs” journey. It’s a journey that God is continually using to shape me into the person He wants me to be. Afterall, the LORD is the Potter, and we are the clay; and each person is the work of HIS hand (Isaiah 64:8).
Just stop and think for a moment, your heavenly Father, whose thoughts and ways are higher than yours (Isaiah 55:8-9), thought it best for you to care for someone with special needs. There was no one better for this assignment than you! And He should know because not only is He Alpha and Omega, knowing the past, present, and future, (Revelation 1:8) but - - NEWS FLASH - - He made you, formed your inward parts; you are fearfully and wonderfully made, He saw you and fashioned the days ahead of you when yet there were none – it’s all written in His book (Psalm 139:13-14, 16). You are the one He has carefully and meticulously selected for this special-needs-child who is special to Him.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer
Romans 12:12 NIV
I can confidently say: I am blessed beyond all measure because of this assignment the LORD has given me. I have unexplainable joy and optimistic hope that one day…, I have patience and peace beyond all understanding that one day…, and I am faithful in prayer.
But you noticed I mentioned above that I’ve only been walking with the LORD since I was 40 years old and that’s a bit over 20 years at this point and Kevin is 32 years old right now. So, you might be wondering what was going on in those 12+ early years before I made Jesus the LORD of my life?
Grace.
God was there. He was faithful even when I was faithless (2 Timothy 2:13). And through all this I know: Prayer changes everything!
The LORD has placed the most amazing people in our lives since Kevin was born—even before he was officially diagnosed. We had a loving and competent pediatrician who carefully monitored the early signs Kevin was showing. And so, the journey began, as I found myself in the waiting room, doing exactly that—waiting.
Looking back, I am in awe of the people God brought into our lives. Most of them are individuals we would have never crossed paths with otherwise—we simply would have had no reason to know them. Yet, GOD performed miracle after miracle in providing for Kevin, not just financially or educationally, but through people: pediatricians, doctors, speech therapists, teachers, and a Medicaid support coordinator who manages a budget for Kevin’s services. He also provided a job coach who mentored, trained, and prepared Kevin for work—and ultimately secured his employment.
God placed people in our path who helped us create a special needs trust, apply for supplemental security income, and navigate the legal process of establishing guardianship after Kevin turned 18. Today, many of these resources are easy to find online, but when Kevin was young, websites were sparse and unhelpful. God made things happen that only HE could.
And let me tell you about church! Well… maybe another time—there’s a word limit on this blog.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer
Romans 12:12 NIV
If you’re still reading this, you’re probably waiting for the answer, how you can have hope and be joyful in it? How you can be patient through the multitude of trials? How you can be faithful, falling on your knees and praying fervently in the waiting . . . because the journey is long.
No more waiting, here’s the answer:
Prayer changes everything!
Prayer shifts our focus to our great and awesome God, the One to whom nothing is impossible (Mark 10:27). The One who is able to do far more - and will do more - than we can ask for or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). The One who loves this very special child even more than we do (John 3:16).
So, let’s go back to those 5Ws that I mentioned in the beginning and focus on the one I identified as the most important: Who is with you in the waiting.
God is with you in the waiting.
And when you pray you draw God closer.
God’s word is true,
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you (James 4:8a NKJV)
“Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer; you shall cry, and He will say, ‘Here I am.’” (Isaiah 58:9).
Be strong and of good courage, do not fear or be afraid . . . for the LORD your God is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed (Deuteronomy 31:6, 8)
You are not alone!
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer
Romans 12:12 NIV