Looking Inward: When Your Soul Needs a Breather
Looking Inward
Back when I was working on my master’s degree, one of the biggest challenges that was presented by the professors was the idea of soul care. This topic came up in most of my courses. Looking back, I fully understand why. In the middle of my coursework the reason became glaringly obvious in my personal life, but I was not fully getting it yet.
At that time, I found myself transitioning from being the high school pastor into a new role as a Care and Counseling Pastor. Due to health issues, our 15-month old son had just started sleeping through the night. On top of that, I was cramming the last 24 credit hours of my master’s degree into one year. In the middle of all this, I walked with a family through what remains the most difficult ministry situation I have ever faced: the final few months of their seven-year-old son’s life.
Throughout that season, I was doing everything I could to keep things together. I put on a smiling face, cranked through the work, and pushed forward; no matter how difficult things got in my own head. I ignored the warning signs along the way. Long story short, I ended up in the ER with breathing issues and feeling the weight of it all literally on my chest. I had numerous medical tests over the next month which ended with getting a clean bill of health. My cardiologist told me what should have been glaringly obvious, I was overstressed and not dealing with it properly. My body was telling me to take a breather.
That was the moment I had to stop and take a long, hard look in the mirror. I needed to apply the skills I had been learning.
Burnt Out or Disconnected?
When we talk about soul care, it is often linked to burn out. While that can be true, I think it is important to figure out whether we’re burnt out or just disconnected from the proper source.
We’re able to do quite a bit on our own. We can push through struggles, telling our mind and body we’re okay, and to keep going far beyond what is healthy. Is this necessary at times? Absolutely. Should we do that as much as we do? Absolutely not!
We need to take an honest evaluation of ourselves, because burn out and disconnectedness can look alike. The difference is important: when we’re burnt out, we need to move on; but when we’re disconnected from the Source who can breathe life into us spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically, we can find the strength to rest and keep going.
If you find yourself in this type of season of life, I challenge you to ask yourself the following questions. Better yet, take it a step further and ask those closest to you to give you their honest assessment as well.
- Spiritual: Am I connecting with Christ on a daily basis? How? Do I take what I learn from Him seriously?
- Mental: Am I finding ways to process worries and stresses in my thoughts in a way that allows me to truly let them go?
- Physical: Do I make time to do things I truly love to do that don’t bring stress into my life?
- Relational: Who is holding me accountable and encouraging me in these areas?
Rest - Spiritual
As we look at soul care, the first area we need to evaluate is the spiritual aspect. In John 15, Jesus teaches on the importance of being connected to Him. He uses the metaphor of branches growing from a vine that bear good fruit. Those branches are able to bear good fruit because they’re connected to the Source of life. When we aren’t connected to Him, we’re unable to bear fruit.
This is why it’s so important for us to connect with Christ regularly. Without Him, we’re fighting an uphill battle and draining ourselves. Through Him, we are filled with the Holy Spirit, who gives us all that we need to do His works. Does this mean the work will never be hard or tiring? Of course not, but He is faithful to restore us.
I’m reminded of the passage in Isaiah 40:30-31:
“Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”
This is a great reminder for us that when we’re feeling mentally, emotionally, and physically tired, the first thing we need to check is how we’re doing spiritually. To avoid burnt out, we stay connected to the Source that never runs dry. Rest in Him daily through prayer, time in His Word, and by other relationships which challenge us to grow in faith. Simply going to church on Sunday is not a relationship that gives life; we need daily connection.
Rest - Mental
Once we’ve gotten things straightened out spiritually, the next area to evaluate is mental rest. Dealing with mental stresses can be difficult. Many times, we believe we’ve dealt with mental stressors, but in reality, we’ve just buried them or tried to cover them up.
I encourage anyone struggling with mental stress, worries, or doubts, to find tangible ways to deal with it. Prayer and a healthy spiritual life are essential when it comes to dealing with mental stresses, yet sometimes you may need to talk with a counselor or pastor; someone who is not your spouse or family who can offer insight.
Maybe you need a symbolic action of getting rid of those stressors: like writing it on a rock and tossing it into a lake, creating steps that move towards letting go of that issue, having a visual reminder of God’s truth in a situation. I wear a bracelet every day that reminds me that God is bigger than the situations I worry about, and that He has a plan in it greater than anything I can see or understand. Find what works for you and work towards unloading the things that are weighing down your thoughts. If you’re looking for more on this topic, I wrote a more detailed blog on mental health.
Rest - Physical
Lastly, evaluate physical rest. Sometimes, mental rest is tied to mental rest. When we get good rest, it can be easier to deal with our mental stresses and vice versa. There may be times we think we are relaxing, but in reality, the activities we do bring stress into our lives. We need to honestly assess if the activity is a healthy form of rest for us or not. On the flip side, there are activities that require effort, like working out, but can help restore us mentally and physically. It doesn’t always have to be intense; it can be as simple as a short walk in nature.
What’s great about physical activity, is that when done right, we can utilize the time to grow spiritually as well. It’s all about being intentional in what we do and staying within our limits
Just Start
If I could encourage you with anything, it’s simply to start.
Look in the mirror. Ask yourself the tough questions. Invite those closest to you into that conversation.
Most importantly, draw near to the Lord and allow Him to be your ultimate Source of strength.
When in doubt, don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Talk to a pastor. Connect with a counselor or life coach. You don’t have to carry this alone.
We never want to reach the burn out stage, when all we need is to reconnect to the Vine.
