The Island
Have you ever seen the movie “Castaway” with Tom Hanks? Even if you haven’t, you probably understand the plot of the movie just off seeing the preview for it years ago. Tom Hanks’ character is in a plane crash that he is the sole survivor of and ends up stranded on an island by himself. For the next two hours(ish) of the movie, you watch him struggle with the situation and how to keep his wits about himself to try and survive. Eventually, he befriends a volleyball he names Wilson that he goes on to have numerous conversations with until he and “Wilson” are separated as he tries to leave the island. While Tom Hanks is playing a character in a movie that is in an extremely unrealistic scenario for 99.9% of the world, he is also showing some of the struggles anyone can face who is battling to mentally keep things together. Although it’s a movie, and a very unrealistic scenario to find ourselves, it’s a great picture of how we can feel stuck and mentally exhausted on our own preverbal island.
Not Alone
Regardless of how difficult life is or the circumstances we’re facing, we are not alone in life. This is something I tell people when I pray with them or in counseling all the time. The reason I do this is that it’s so easy for us to feel like we’re all alone and no one sees us. No one knows what I’m going through. No one is going to be there to help me. I just can’t do it. These are all lies that Satan tells us to try and isolate us. The more isolated we become, the more he is able to slip these thoughts into our head and worse, into our hearts. In John 8:44, Jesus describes Satan in this way, “When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” This is why it’s so vitally important for us to be aware of the truth of Scripture, to spend time in prayer, but to also be open to talk with the people God puts in our lives. Whether it’s a family member, friend, coworker, or counselor, we’re never alone in our struggles. As we continue, we’re going to look at the importance of these connection points.
Source
First and foremost we need to check the source we’re connected to. Proverbs 4:23 tells us, “Keep your heart with vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” This verse is reminding us that the things we connect our heart to are going to direct every part of our lives, and this includes our thoughts, worries, and doubts. All of which affect our mental health. Paul tells us in Philippians 4:6 that the way for us to not worry is to go to God with thanksgiving and then lay our cares and concerns at His feet. He then tells us in verse 8, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Part of shifting our perspective is fixing our thoughts on heavenly things and not the things of the world. If we’re constantly inputting social media, debates, arguments, secular music and movies that aren’t uplifting to the Lord, and trying to fill our lives with stuff, we’re further disconnecting our hearts from the One who gives us everything we need.
Accountability
Once we’re in tune with the right source, we need to be intentional in our relationships. While it’s great at times to have some surface level relationships where we just talk about the fun things in life, it’s even more important to be in relationships that challenge us to grow in our faith. These are the spaces in which we can share our struggles and worries, but then be called out in love to remind us to live out the truth we know. In Galatians 6, Paul tells us to not just be willing to help other believers who are stuck in sin through a spirit of gentleness, but to “bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” This is what accountability looks like in our friendships. A willingness to spur each other on in the midst of our struggles, but to also speak truth, in love, to each other when we’re struggling. If you’re not in a relationship with someone like this, talk with a leader at your church to see if there’s a discipleship program to get connected with. Better yet, go to a respected brother or sister in Christ to see if the two of you can start meeting regularly to have these types of discussions.
Check Ups
Lastly, we need to stop thinking of seeing professional or pastoral counseling as something that people go for only when they’re struggling in their life, faith, or marriage. Proverbs 20:5 tells us, “The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.” This is the value of counseling and coaching. It’s not always about fixing problems. Sometimes it’s difficult to be real about life while evaluating where we are and looking to where we want to be. This is where counseling can help draw us out of those spots in life to get us back on track before things get rough.
One of the best examples I can think of is when I started in this role and was directing the Bay Life Counseling Center. I was leaving the office and saw some of my friends there waiting to see one of our counselors. My first thought was probably something we would all think, “Oh no, what’s wrong with their marriage?” Here’s the thing though, it’s not appropriate or even ethical for me to ask that question in that scenario, so I just gave them hugs and said I’ll see them later. Later that evening my friend texted me to say it was good seeing me and tell me not to worry that anything was wrong. They go in for checkups each year with the counselor who did their pre-marital counseling. While I was happy to hear they were good, I was even more blown away by the fact that they were investing in the health of their marriage just like they would the other areas of their lives, and this is the type of mindset we need to have with our mental health.
Don’t Wait
By staying ahead of the problems, we’re building the tools we need to handle our struggles before they weigh us down. Most of us would say that we do yearly visits to the doctor for health checkups and screenings. On top of that we go to the dentist once or twice a year for cleanings and checkups as well. Nowadays people even track their fitness levels on apps or use smart watches to check their heart health. So why do we not treat our mental health with the same importance? We can do this by staying connected to Christ, being real and vulnerable through accountability, and utilizing counseling and coaching checkups. If you need more help to make these things happen, reach out for help. It’s never too late to start making changes.
