As we wrap up this month of blog posts written to—and about—men, I want to take a moment to reflect on our role as men in the Church. Let me clarify what I mean when I say “Church” with a capital “C”: I’m referring to the global Body of Christ—the Church that Jesus established, made up of all biblically grounded local church bodies around the world. I’m not speaking only about your local congregation. We are all one Church, connected across communities and cultures.
Now, let’s talk about our calling.
We, as men, are called to many things—within our families, our communities, and the Church. But one calling rises above the rest: we are called to lead.
Leading in the workplace or in community organizations often comes naturally to many men. But when it comes to leading in our homes, or even more critically, within the Church, there’s a noticeable gap. And it’s not just a leadership issue—it’s a participation issue. Let’s take a sobering look at some statistics that reflect this cultural and spiritual crisis:
- Only 5% of Christian men (age ~39) report having a best friend.
- Fathers spend an average of just 37 seconds per day in one-on-one interaction with their preschool-aged children.
- Children spend 41 hours per week consuming media.
- 24 million children live without their biological father.
- Over a lifetime, the average father talks with his child for only 11 days’ worth of accumulated hours.
- In contrast, he works the equivalent of 12 years over his lifetime.
Marriage & morality struggles:
- 41% of first marriages end in divorce; second marriages, 60%; third marriages, 73%.
- There are 2,046 divorces every day in the U.S.
- 1 in 3 divorces involve online affairs.
- 75% of men believe it’s okay to visit adult websites.
- 54% believe online affairs don’t count as adultery.
These numbers are alarming—but they point to a deeper issue: a crisis of commitment, discipleship, and leadership. And this doesn’t just affect our homes—it’s mirrored in the Church.
Within the Church:
- 85% of lay leadership roles are held by women.
- 75% of Bible study leaders are women.
- 80% of men leave the Church due to a lack of intentional discipleship.
- Fewer than 10% of U.S. churches have a thriving men’s ministry.
- Midweek gatherings are typically 70–80% women.
- In some countries, for every man in church, there are nine women.
Bible reading habits:
- 19% read daily
- 26% a few times a week
- 14% once a week
- 22% once a month
- 18% rarely or never
So… how do we change this?
I’m so glad you asked.
Men, we must lead. We are called to serve our families as spiritual leaders. We are called to influence our workplaces and communities—not just by what we say, but by how we live. Most importantly, we are called to model Christ and make Him known.
A mentor once asked me, “How badly must you hate someone not to want them to know the joy and peace that come from salvation in Jesus?” That line has stuck with me.
Let me ask: How many people have you invited to church in the last month or year? If the answer is less than everyone you could, there’s room to grow.
And it’s especially important that we invite other men. Consider these findings:
- If a child is the first in the family to come to church, only 1 in 10 families will follow.
- If a mother is the first, 2–4 in 10 families will follow.
- But if a father is the first to engage with church, 9 in 10 families follow.
Men, we have a job to do. Our leadership matters. Our presence matters. And yes, there’s good news too:
Encouraging statistics:
- Only 1 in 1,152 marriages end in divorce when couples pray together daily.
- Churchgoers are 81% more likely to be married and have greater life satisfaction.
- Church involvement is a major predictor of marital stability and happiness.
- It also reduces poverty and depression, and increases self-esteem and family cohesion.
- 80% of wives say religious involvement makes men more engaged as husbands and fathers.
- Teens with religious fathers are 68% more likely to enjoy time with their dad and admire him.
Men are good for the Church. A study from Hartford Seminary found that the presence of engaged men is directly tied to church growth, health, and unity. Conversely, a lack of male participation is linked to decline.
So let’s raise the bar.
Inviting people to church is a good start, but it’s not the mission. We’ve been entrusted with the Great Commission: to make disciples of all nations. This starts with one person, continues through us, and must not stop with us.
Jesus never told us to merely “go to church.” He called us to be the Church. Over time, we’ve reduced church to a weekly event—attending services, tithing, volunteering occasionally, and calling it good. But that’s not enough.
The early Church, as described in Acts, wasn’t about buildings or events. It was about community. It was discipleship. It was people doing life together—holding each other accountable, sharing what they had, and living as a family of faith.
Most people couldn’t read then, and there were no Bibles to pass around. Faith was lived out loud, stories were shared, and lives were modeled after Christ. That’s how the Gospel spread—and how the Church grew in the face of persecution.
Today, we’ve reshaped the Church to fit modern convenience. I’m not saying we need to abandon our buildings or programs. Those things have value and have brought many to Christ. But we do need to rebuild the discipleship culture that Jesus intended from the beginning.
His final instruction to us? “Go and make disciples…” (Matthew 28:16-20).
That command still stands. We are all called to be disciples who make disciples.
It starts with your family.
Then your neighborhood.
Then your church.
And from there, it reaches the world.
We can’t do it alone. We need accountability. We need brothers in Christ who speak truth to us and to whom we can speak truth in return. We need to form a network of disciples, living out our faith and pointing others to Jesus through both word and deed.
This is the foundation Jesus left us; this is the work He entrusted to us. The early Church wasn’t a place—it was people. That’s still true today. But tragically, the number of true disciples is far fewer than the number of church attendees.
We must be creative and intentional in engaging those who are just “attending.” When we rebuild the discipleship culture of the early Church, the Kingdom will grow exponentially.
And no, I’m not suggesting we all sell our possessions and become traveling preachers. But every one of us—wherever we are—has opportunities every day to impact lives for eternity.
Let’s rise to the challenge.
Let’s lead.
Let’s be the Church.
Statistics cited came from the following sources:
